WHY oh WHY
listening to Papinka's song - Masih mencintainya and suddenly, saya rasa down betul :'( itu lagu ngam betul dengan situasi saya sekarang. Oh God, please, give me strength to pass through this pain and please, give me the strength to carry on. I almost gave up. give me the strength to be strong, through these difficult times. I though I'm strong enough to suffer all of this pain but then I realize, I'm not strong enough. why? why did he do this to me? why did he choose her instead of me? why God why? how can I move on if he is always on my mind? how can I forget him if he gave me so much to remember? dia tinggalkan saya tanpa sebarang penjelasan. bila saya mau lupakan dia, di sana jugalah dia bagi saya harapan. harapan palsu! dia cakap dengan kawan-kawan lelaki saya yang saya ni masih milik dia. apakah? :'( kamu nampak kah permainan dia? aih. dia cakap sama semua lelaki yang dia kenal yang kami sudah kahwin lah apalah. dia tidak mau saya ada lelaki lain. tapi dia? dengan perempuan dia mengaku single. adil kah bagi saya? adil kah kamu rasa? dia buat saya menderita :( dia sudah buat saya begini tapi perasaan sayang saya untuk dia masih ada. bodoh kan saya? saya tau saya cuma diperbodohkan tapi saya tetap mau dia. mengharap sama dia. stupid k stupid! tidak pernah saya sayang lelaki macam ni oh :( susah. susah saya mau move on. tapi saya akan cuba. tiada yang mustahil kan? :') saya sedar saya siapa. saya tidak layak jadi GF dia. sokey. saya cuma mampu berdoa untuk dia. saya cuma mampu doakan kebahagiaan dia dengan GF baru dia. tiada apa lagi yang saya dapat buat. saya dapat rasa yang itu perempuan dapat buat dia bahagia. saya ni apalah sangat kan. saya cuma pandai buat dia panas and sakit hati. seriously, sakit hati saya nampak gambar-gambar dia dengan GF dia di FB. sakit okey SAKIT! Tuhan seja yang tau apa yang saya rasa. kami baru terpisah 7 bulan tapi dia sudah tidak tahan. dia bosan. padahal dulu time saya tanya 'b sanggup kah tunggu bby?'. dia cakap 'yaa. b sanggup. b tunggu bby sampai bila-bila.'. actually, saya tidak harap pun dia bagi jawapan begitu baa sebab saya tau dia tidak sanggup. dia cakap begitu cuma buat saya berharap lagi sama dia. kalau time tu dia jawab dia tidak sanggup, saya okey baa. saya kasi lepas dia dengan cara yang baik. tapi ini? dia cakap dia sanggup and saya pun bodoh betul mau percaya kata-kata sampah dia. sekarang siapa yang sakit? siapa yang menderita? saya k saya :( walaupun kami jauh begini and lama tidak jumpa, sikit pun tidak pernah pudar perasaan saya untuk dia. saya jaga hubungan kami. saya setia. tapi ini baa balasan yang saya dapat. sokey. saya terima. saya pasrah dengan semua yang terjadi :') saya just harap dia bahagia. cukup banyak sudah dugaan yang datang and saya tetap berdiri teguh untuk menghadapi semua dugaan yang saya dapat. saya tanggung sendiri sakit di hati ini. tiada siapa yang tau apa yang saya rasa and macam mana sakit ini hati. cuma Dia yang tau. saya betul-betul tidak tahan sudah :'( saya mau gila. cukup tekanan saya kena buat begini. satu demi satu masalah datang. aih. yaa Tuhan, kuatkanlah hati hambaMu ini :'( Amen. its time to MOVE ON :)
hancur! semua hancur. ternyata bahagia yang saya rasa cuma sementara :) its okey then. kau sudah move on. now its time for me to move on like you did. senangnya kau kasi lupa saya kan? sokey. kita anggap seja macam kita tidak pernah ada apa-apa hubungan sebelum ini. yaa it is hard to accept the fact that you're dating with someone else now but what can I do? I'm not God. I can't change what had happened and I can't force someone to love me :) it's true that 'people change, memories stay'. because you leave me like I'm worthless and the memories stay. stay in our heart and mind. lol damn. my heart breaks a little when I saw your picture with your new GF on facebook. I don't know how to describe my feelings but it really hurts. only God knows how I felt that day. saya message kau untuk kali terakhir and terus kasi patah sim saya :') seriously, itu kali pertama saya patahkan sim. sebelum ini tidak pernah saya patahkan sim saya sebab saya tidak sampai hati, tapi entah kenapa hari tu saya nekad untuk patahkan sim saya yang telah bertahun-tahun saya guna. now, I try to forget you and I hope I can :) how I wish forgetting someone and something is as easy as abc. it is true that sometimes we must fight for our love and yeah, I'm tired already. it's always been me. saya yang selalu berjuang untuk hubungan kita dan saya yang selalu mempertahankan hubungan 'kita'. now, I'm letting you go. No. I'm not giving up but you are the one who didn't fight for 'us' and you choose her over me. remember? the day you choose to leave me is the day I started a new life. I'm moving on with my life and looking forward for something and someone. I hope you make a good choices and I hope she's good enough for you. I hope she can take care of you and love you like I did. please boy, learn how to be faithful and learn how to be honest. past is past & an EX will always be an EX :) nothing would change that. I will always pray for your happiness, ex-boyfriend :) may God bless both of you and may your relationship with her will last longer till forever. Fy okey Fy :)
okey. I'm done with facebook :') saya sudah deactivate ketiga-tiga FB saya sebentar tadi. bikin sakit hati sakit jiwa sakit jantung seja itu facebook. HAHA saya sakit hati okey. sakit yang teramat tersangat terpaling semua yang ter ter ter lah :'D saya betul-betul rindu dia. aih shit baaa shit! saya cemburu baa saya cemburu. kenapa kamu tidak pandai faham? kenapa ah kenapa? tolonglah baa satu kali ni jak kamu cuba untuk faham saya. jaga hati saya! sakit baa ini hati. saya jauh dari dia. saya tidak okey sama dia. tapi kamu? kamu dekat sama dia pastu okey lagi sama dia. siap boleh ketawa bergurau bermain sama-sama lagi. kenapa time saya dekat sama dia kamu tidak rapat-rapat sama dia? time kami jauh begini, kamu bertag-tag pula di Facebook. adida. beginilah ni kan kalau cinta jarak jauh. ada saja halangan dan dugaan yang datang. yaa saya sabar tapi sampai bila? sampai bila saya harus sabar dan bagi orang dibelakang saya laluan? fahamkah maksud saya? aih entahlah. belum settle satu hal, datang lagi satu. satu demi satu demi satu datang. belum baik lagi sakit di hati, ditambah lagi sakitnya. apa? saya ni robot kah? saya ni tiada perasaan? ohh ya ba pula. saya ni kan TUNGGUL KAYU. okey I get it :') I'm too nice with people, thats why they always take me for granted. okey thats awesome amazing great! thanks for treating me like I don't have feelings okey people? thanks for treating me like shit. I appreciated that. seriously :) but hey, don't forget that karma do exist :) I believe that there's a reasons behind all of this bullshit. God wanna make me more stronger than before. hellyeah! You were given a life and you’re supposed to live it.
“There are going to be days when you won’t have the energy or drive to get out of bed. There are going to be days when you’re going to want to give up – give up on love, life, or school. The thing is, you’re not allowed to give up. You were given a life and you’re supposed to live it. The truth is the seventy or eighty years that you’re given isn’t long enough to do the things you’re supposed to do. Sure, you’re gonna hit a few bumps along the way, but you’ve got to pick yourself up and move on. Life is unpredictable and things might not always work out the way you want them to, but that’s no reason to give up. You’re here for a reason and someday when you’re not expecting it, you’re going to discover your reason for being here. And when that does happen, your life will never be the same again.”
keep calm and stay strong :)
you don’t have to be tough every minute of every day.
its okay to let down your guard.
in fact, there’s moments when it’s the best thing you could possibly do;
as long as you choose those moments wisely.
“I know what it’s like to be so mad, you go into this blind rage and don’t even remember what you said or did. I know what it’s like to be so heartbroken, you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror without bursting into tears. I know what it’s like to have so many bad things happen to you,you start to lose faith in everything. However, I also know times of pure joy and happiness. And if I can just keep my mind set on those, I know I’ll make it through all of the hard times. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to find the faith I thought I had lost forever.”
I miss him :(
I don't know why I keep on missing him even though I know he already forget me and our memories 
Yeap I know I'm stupid. stupid enough to love and fall in love with him. I keep on asking myself. why did he make me fall if he didn't plan to catch me? I wonder. am I stupid enough to be played by a guy? is it? I don't know. maybe? HAHA poor me. seriously, I really do love him and I hope, I really hope, he will love me like I do. we didn't contact each other for almost 1 weeks and its killing me. I hope one day he will see and realize how much efforts I have put to make our relationship more stronger. yes I know he had hurt me over and over again but that won't change my feelings towards him. I swear. I swear to God that he won't find another girl like me because I'm the only one that love him too much 
I hope he will text me and tell me he miss me. I really hope that. emm bytheway, I'm not good in english so pardon me if I've made a lot of grammar mistakes. HAHA. mornite people. bye xoxo.
Yeap I know I'm stupid. stupid enough to love and fall in love with him. I keep on asking myself. why did he make me fall if he didn't plan to catch me? I wonder. am I stupid enough to be played by a guy? is it? I don't know. maybe? HAHA poor me. seriously, I really do love him and I hope, I really hope, he will love me like I do. we didn't contact each other for almost 1 weeks and its killing me. I hope one day he will see and realize how much efforts I have put to make our relationship more stronger. yes I know he had hurt me over and over again but that won't change my feelings towards him. I swear. I swear to God that he won't find another girl like me because I'm the only one that love him too much I hope he will text me and tell me he miss me. I really hope that. emm bytheway, I'm not good in english so pardon me if I've made a lot of grammar mistakes. HAHA. mornite people. bye xoxo.
Name: Qelviey CJY ツ
Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. But it's your choice whether to scream or enjoy the ride.
