because I love you.
satu persatu cerita sampai di telinga saya. satu persatu hal yang kau buat di belakang saya. satu persatu masalah datang. sakit okey sakit. tapi its okey, saya masih mampu bertahan. banyak persoalan yang berada di minda tapi tiada satu pun yang mampu menjawabnya. kenapa dan mengapa? saya pun tidak tau :) kadang-kadang kau buat saya rasa yang kau tu betul-betul sayang saya. kadang-kadang tidak. saya tau saya tidak secantik perempuan diluar sana. saya bukan siapa-siapa jika dibandingkan dengan mereka. saya tidak mampu bagi kau apa-apa tapi saya cuma boleh bagi kau 'hati' saya yang tulus mencintai dan menyayangi kau. saya cuba untuk jadi yang terbaik untuk kau tapi still, dimata kau saya cumalah perempuan yang hina :) kenapa kau buat saya terlanjur sayang kau kalau kau tiada niat mau jadikan saya ni sebahagian dari hidup kau? bukan satu kali, bukan dua kali, bukan tiga kali tapi beribu kali saya bagi kau peluang. kau tidak pernah pun hargai peluang yang saya bagi. sebab? kau tau saya sayang kau dan walau sebesar apa pun kesalahan kau, kau tau saya akan maafkan kau dan bagi kau peluang kan? kau curang, saya biarkan. kau ignore saya, saya biarkan. kau maki saya, saya terima tanpa balas makian dari kau. sebab apa? sebab saya sayang kau. mungkin inilah yang dinamakan cinta mati kan? :) saya rela disakiti, saya rela dimaki, saya rela mati demi kau. see? betapa besarnya cinta saya untuk kau tapi kau tidak sedar dan tidak nampak pun semua tu. semua pengorbanan saya. susah payah saya jaga relay kita tapi kau senang-senang mau kasi hancur. Its okey. mungkin di otak kau cuma mau enjoy kan? mungkin kau belum matang dalam percintaan. saya redha. saya pasrah atas apa yang terjadi. saya cuma harap kau sedar ada orang yang betul-betul cinta and sayang kau disini. saya harap kau hargai kewujudan saya ni sebelum semuanya terlambat :') saya sayang kau, MohdSyafiqAnto♡ tolong berubah. saya mohon. tolong berubah :') jangan sia-sia perempuan yang sayang kau separuh mati k? thanks God.
selepas 1 bulan lebih kami lost contact, ahkirnya kami bersatu balik :') thanks God thanks. semoga hubungan kami kekal hingga ke syurga. saya sayang dia. sangat sayang. berkatilah hubungan kami dan kuatkanlah hati kami untuk menempuhi segala ujian, cobaan, cabaran dan halangan yang akan datang. satukanlah kami, ya Tuhan. Amen :) You are just somebody that I USED to know :')
so yeah, you're just somebody that I used to know. that I used to called as 'mine'. now, its over. you and me, its over :) this is so sad. you know what? i'm sick of being sad. i'm sick of being hurt. it sucks. it really sucks. do you know that you're playing with my feelings? i love you okey i love you so much. but, why?! why did you do this to me? everyday i asked myself what the hell i did to be treated like this? i know we didn't meet for almost 8 months but hey, don't you remember your promises? pernah saya tanya kau dulu kan? saya tanya kau sanggup kah tunggu saya? then apa kau cakap? kau cakap "yaa baby. b tunggu baby sampai bila-bila." but now? you forget your promises isn't? this is why i hate when people promise me something they can't keep. because it makes me expect too much. too much okey too much. and you know what boy? expectation just ruins everything. 
i did everything, everything, to make you love me. but i failed. i know i'm not good enough for you or maybe pretty enough. apik, saya sudah cuba buat yang terbaik. saya sudah cuba tapi still, semua tu tidak cukup untuk kau and semua tu tidak membawa erti apa pun untuk kau. 
i know i'm not supposed to fall so hard and you're not supposed to mean this much to me. but you know what? i did and that's the truth. that's what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go. i want you back. no, i want 'us' back. i want that feelings back. i miss everything about us. about you. please, please come back to me. i love you, i always did
i did everything, everything, to make you love me. but i failed. i know i'm not good enough for you or maybe pretty enough. apik, saya sudah cuba buat yang terbaik. saya sudah cuba tapi still, semua tu tidak cukup untuk kau and semua tu tidak membawa erti apa pun untuk kau. i know i'm not supposed to fall so hard and you're not supposed to mean this much to me. but you know what? i did and that's the truth. that's what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go. i want you back. no, i want 'us' back. i want that feelings back. i miss everything about us. about you. please, please come back to me. i love you, i always did I miss the way things used to be
bila terbaca post-post orang yang tengah hangat bercinta, cemburu pun melanda diri ini. HAHA. I'm jealous. maklumlah, single pula ni sekarang. hoho. I admit that I miss having a person who actually care about me. A person who will always be there for me. A person who I can talk for hours on the phone. A person who will send me a 'good morning and good night' wishes. oh God, I miss the way things used to be. I miss 'US'. I miss having someone who I called as 'boyfriend'. and saya rindu kena panggil dengan panggilan 'sayang, baby, cinta, bini, mama'. saya rindu ok rindu :'( aih sabar sejalah. mungkin ada hikmah disebalik semua yang terjadi ni kan? :') sudah ku duga semua ini akan terjadi. hal yang saya takut akan terjadi selama ni akhirnya terjadi juga. saya always ingat janji-janji kau selama ni. saya always ingat apa yang pernah kau cakap sama saya sebelum ini. semua itu masih fresh lagi di otak saya ni :D kecewa. sangat kecewa. tidak saya sangka kau sanggup buat saya begini. sokeylah. saya tidak kasi salah kau juga. maybe it's all my fault. janji sama saya yang kau akan hidup bahagia ok? saya disini akan selalu doakan kebahagiaan kau walaupun kebahagiaan kau dengan orang lain sebenarnya buat saya menderita :D forever? promises? perfect?
I just realize that nothing is forever. 'forever' only exist on dictionary but it doesn't exist in our life. people always made promises. I mean, fake promises :) I wonder. do promises really meant to be broken? why does promises exist if people can't keep their promises? there is a saying that promises are made to be broken and lies are meant to be kept. yeap. it's true. don't make promises if you can't keep them. it will only hurts someone feelings :) and how about perfect? well nothing is perfect. nobody is perfect. I'm not perfect. you are not perfect. so we don't have the right to judge someone's life. everyone makes mistakes. everyone has their own story. and never compare yourself or others to other people. because everyone has their own struggles, own fights, and a different path that they chose to get to where they are.
Name: Qelviey CJY ツ
Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. But it's your choice whether to scream or enjoy the ride.
